Dear Roy,
It’s only been a day......24 hours since the news conference introducing you as the ace of the Philadelphia Phillies. The trade that ruined my Christmas is now complete. I understand why you wanted to leave Toronto, nobody can blame you. Nobody wants to play for a loser, a team that signs players like Alex Rios, Vernon Wells and BJ Ryan for a combined 242 million dollars. Let’s not talk about the past, it’s too painful. I just wanted to remember the good times you gave all us Blue Jay fans and how much we are going to miss you.
I’m going to miss your devastating cut fastball that you could locate with a surgeon’s precision. I’m going to miss that fact that start you made we all knew you were going to go 9 innings strong. Don’t underestimate the importance of your complete games. Whether you won or lost it meant us Jay fans didn’t have to endure the torture that is the relief pitching performance of Brian Wolfe, Brandon League and friends. That’s like eating Raisin Bran to relieve diarrhea.
I’m going to miss your perfectly trimmed beard that was the exact same length and shape every start since 1999. How you couldn’t cash that into a lucrative shaving product contract makes me question what your agent is being paid for.
I’m going to miss the reassuring fact that no matter how atrocious the Jays were, we could always count on having a legit all-star at the midsummer classic.
I’m going to miss the fact you dominated the league like no other Blue Jay pitcher ever, well like no other Blue Pitcher who didn’t inject needles into his ass.
I’m going to miss how you dominated the evil empire like nobody else in the game, in case you forgot here’s your stats versus the Yanks (223.1 IP, 16-5, 2.90 ERA, 1.12 WHIP).
I’m going to miss how all the Yankee fans made comments every time you dominated them like “Yah well he will look good in Yankee colours in 2 years”, only to go to the National League.
I’m going to miss your “girl next door” smoke show sexy wife Brandy. Her presence in the booth during Jay games made Jamie Campbell somewhat tolerable.
I’m going to miss baseball broadcasters league wide referring to the Jays as a dominant pitching staff despite the fact our starting rotation has included Brian Tallet, Miguel Batista, Vinnie Chulk, and Josh Towers during Halladay’s tenure here.
I’m going to miss all the ground balls you induced leading to numerous spectacular plays by Johnny MacDonald. These plays led to MacDonald becoming one of the most popular players on the team despite the fact he couldn’t hit .200 in beer league slo-pitch.
I’m going to miss your low-profile public life, where you honour morals such as not cheating on your wife, which apparently is too taxing on some professional athletes these days.
I'm going to miss the pissed off look you had on your face every time the manager pulled you from a game. It was refreshing to see compared to the usual “Save Me” face that stares into the dugout in the 3rd inning from every other Blue Jay pitcher.
I’m going to miss your quick delivery and pitching style which allowed Blue Jay games you pitched to be completed in less than 5 painful hours.
I’m going to miss the fact you were the only big Blue Jay who remembered how to play baseball after signing a large contract extension.
I’m going to miss how your second career start was one out away from being a no-hitter. Let’s see if Drabek can duplicate that feat, and make daddy a proud Cy Young winning papa.
I’m going to miss how your nickname ‘Doc’ fit your persona perfectly. You just seem like a bad motha out on the mound that mowed down batters like Doc Holliday mowed down wannabe Western bad asses in the Wild Wild West.
I’m going to miss Jamie Campbell pretending he was your boy and telling stories of how he would hang out with you on your non-starting days. This was followed by Jamie gushing like a schoolgirl over Zac Efron every time you pitched. Sadly Jamie didn’t make it into the post-Halladay Jays era. What up Buck!
So I’m going to miss you Roy for every reason possible in baseball. Now instead of knowing I would see an ace every five games, I have to become like every other Jay fan and talk myself into Ricky Romero and Shaun Marcum being franchise pitchers.....BARF!
All the best in Philly Roy, I look forward to watching you go 2-0 in the 2010 World Series.
Yours Truly,
Dane Belbeck
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